Losing on purpose

Games are competitive in nature. This nature is one of the key reasons why I argue that games can be used for self improvement. But it is important to note that winning the game is not the end-all be-all for this improvement. In my mind, winning is just a way of tracking improvement. However, losing often times forces me to improve. In other words, winning doesn’t help me improve, it only shows that I have improved enough to win against that specific opponent.

When I thought about the topic of being asked to lose on purpose, I immediately started focusing on describing the reasons why losing on purpose is morally incorrect. But I decided to look at this from the other side. Sometimes people have a good reason to request the other side to lose. One of the biggest reasons, in my opinion, is for boosts to confidence. This is most often used with children, giving them boosts to their self confidence by letting them win.

Of course there are downsides. This self confidence can turn into a false sense of skill that can lead to bragging. This in turn leads to dismay and a lack of self confidence when they get beaten by the local pro.

My solution is to never lose on purpose, no matter the reason. If you were to play any game against me and tell me that you absolutely had to win, then I would say okay, and play the best that I can. The fact that you need to win doesn’t mean that you can just laze your way through the game. You need to play with the desperation that you claim you have. That being said, while I am playing to the best of my abilities, I won’t necessarily be going for a victory. I can reduce my chances of winning while still trying my best.

An example of this is with the sport of golf. If you played against me and asked me to lose to you, I would proceed to play the safe game. I’m not going for birdies, even if you are ahead of me. But neither am I going for bogies. I’m going for average, straight down the middle of the course. In otherwise I’m going to play the pace-line. And it is up to you to step up and play the best that you can. This kind of play has the added benefit of allowing me to practice my fundamentals. More importantly, I don’t feel any guilt when I do lose. Of course, there is the risk of me winning the game, and I have won before. But I always warn my opponents that there is no such thing as a free lunch.

And as for those children who need the confidence boost? I’ve found that cheap wins do very little good compared to a hard-earned victory. Its something to be proud of, and it will help them form good fundamentals, which will allow them to beat all of their friends and actually be the best player that they can be.